You're cool, or you're not

Posted

06.27.2025

Author

Darryl Parsons

Length

600 words or so

You're cool, or you're not.

No middle ground. No consolation prize. No participation trophy. Just the brutal arithmetic of desire. Cool commands. Uncool pleads. Cool whispers and the world leans in. Uncool shouts from rooftops, offering discounts.

This isn't about logic. Never was. The Ferrari doesn't win on fuel economy. The Rolex doesn't triumph on timekeeping accuracy. Your smartphone could tell time just fine, but you still want that Swiss machinery wrapped around your wrist.

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Because cool lives in the spaces between reason. It dwells in the pause before you speak. The confidence that doesn't need to announce itself. The thing that makes people stop scrolling and start wanting. Uncool explains itself to death. Lists features like a desperate salesman. Justifies its existence with bullet points and comparison charts.

Cool just is.

This creates the great divide of commerce. On one side, brands that can charge what they want because people will pay what they must. On the other, brands trapped in the endless race to the bottom, competing on price because they can't compete on desire.

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Apple doesn't sell computers. They sell membership to a tribe. Nike doesn't sell shoes. They sell the mythology of greatness. Harley doesn't sell motorcycles. They sell rebellion in chrome and leather.

Each commands premium because they've transcended function. They've become symbols. Totems. Objects of irrational, beautiful desire.

Meanwhile, their functional equivalents fight over pennies in the bargain basement of human attention. The cruel mathematics of this are simple. Cool multiplies margin. Uncool divides it.

Cool creates scarcity even in abundance. Uncool creates abundance even in scarcity. Cool makes people queue. Uncool makes people compare prices.

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But here's what the spreadsheet evangelists miss: cool isn't manufactured in focus groups. It's not born from rational analysis or demographic studies. Cool emerges from something deeper. Something that speaks to the part of us that dreams, that aspires, that wants to belong to something larger than ourselves. It's the brand that understands we don't buy products. We buy better versions of ourselves.

The leather jacket that makes us more interesting. The watch that makes us more sophisticated. The car that makes us more successful.

These aren't rational purchases. They're acts of faith. Investments in identity. And identity always pays premium.

This is why cool brands can charge more for less. Why a simple logo can add hundreds to a price tag. Why people will pay extra for the exact same product in different packaging. Because we're not buying the thing. We're buying what the thing says about us.

Uncool brands sell products. Cool brands sell dreams. Uncool brands answer questions. Cool brands create mysteries. Uncool brands give you what you need. Cool brands give you what you didn't know you wanted.

The divide isn't going anywhere. If anything, it's widening.

In a world of infinite choice, the brands that can make us feel something will always triumph over the brands that merely do something.

Function is table stakes. Emotion is the game changer.

Logic is the entry fee. Magic is the margin maker.

You're cool, or you're not.

Everything else is just accounting.

You're cool, or you're not.

No middle ground. No consolation prize. No participation trophy. Just the brutal arithmetic of desire. Cool commands. Uncool pleads. Cool whispers and the world leans in. Uncool shouts from rooftops, offering discounts.

This isn't about logic. Never was. The Ferrari doesn't win on fuel economy. The Rolex doesn't triumph on timekeeping accuracy. Your smartphone could tell time just fine, but you still want that Swiss machinery wrapped around your wrist.

__wf_reserved_inherit

Because cool lives in the spaces between reason. It dwells in the pause before you speak. The confidence that doesn't need to announce itself. The thing that makes people stop scrolling and start wanting. Uncool explains itself to death. Lists features like a desperate salesman. Justifies its existence with bullet points and comparison charts.

Cool just is.

This creates the great divide of commerce. On one side, brands that can charge what they want because people will pay what they must. On the other, brands trapped in the endless race to the bottom, competing on price because they can't compete on desire.

__wf_reserved_inherit

Apple doesn't sell computers. They sell membership to a tribe. Nike doesn't sell shoes. They sell the mythology of greatness. Harley doesn't sell motorcycles. They sell rebellion in chrome and leather.

Each commands premium because they've transcended function. They've become symbols. Totems. Objects of irrational, beautiful desire.

Meanwhile, their functional equivalents fight over pennies in the bargain basement of human attention. The cruel mathematics of this are simple. Cool multiplies margin. Uncool divides it.

Cool creates scarcity even in abundance. Uncool creates abundance even in scarcity. Cool makes people queue. Uncool makes people compare prices.

__wf_reserved_inherit

But here's what the spreadsheet evangelists miss: cool isn't manufactured in focus groups. It's not born from rational analysis or demographic studies. Cool emerges from something deeper. Something that speaks to the part of us that dreams, that aspires, that wants to belong to something larger than ourselves. It's the brand that understands we don't buy products. We buy better versions of ourselves.

The leather jacket that makes us more interesting. The watch that makes us more sophisticated. The car that makes us more successful.

These aren't rational purchases. They're acts of faith. Investments in identity. And identity always pays premium.

This is why cool brands can charge more for less. Why a simple logo can add hundreds to a price tag. Why people will pay extra for the exact same product in different packaging. Because we're not buying the thing. We're buying what the thing says about us.

Uncool brands sell products. Cool brands sell dreams. Uncool brands answer questions. Cool brands create mysteries. Uncool brands give you what you need. Cool brands give you what you didn't know you wanted.

The divide isn't going anywhere. If anything, it's widening.

In a world of infinite choice, the brands that can make us feel something will always triumph over the brands that merely do something.

Function is table stakes. Emotion is the game changer.

Logic is the entry fee. Magic is the margin maker.

You're cool, or you're not.

Everything else is just accounting.